Day xx after Week xx - My Wish

What i'm doing,
i'm knew you're never come,
i'm knew you're never read,
i'm knew you're never care,
why i'm still wanna doing this shyt..

Day after day,
i'm keep pretend your're not exist,
i'm trying to ignore everything about you,
but could it possible?
NO..
There is something out there,
they made me think more about you..

No matter how much i'm wanna to tell you,
hey dumb2,
there i'm still miss you,
but i know i couldn't do that,
you never knew that because i'm just nothing,
nothing for you,
there are many thing i'm wish to tell,
but there are also many thing i'm couldn't tell..

Why im keep writing this?
This just a bigger lie,
that for let me pretend you will care about me?
Will you?
I'm really hope that you will tell me that,
but that is impossible..
Issit i'm invisible for you?
Sigh, i'm sorry to tell you,
Today same is a failure day,
just like all the time..

xx October 2013,
Failure Day again and again..
By the Missing One..

Day One After week - Lonely

SIGH...
Almost that,
the msg of say hello has been send..
I'm very unhappy,
but dare not to tell you,
i'm still rmb no matter im bad or good mood,
you're the one made me laugh..

I Miss You,
i'm feel lonely,
there is no one could talk,
i'm need someone talk with me..
I'm sad and helpless,
can anyone heard me?

29th October 2013,
Falling the tears,
By Sadly People..

Week One - Meanless

What if you holding your hand hardly,

just feel pain and pointless,

why don't just open your hand and let it,

human are holding something not belong of them hardly,

at the end they will notice that was stupid..

Here is the question,

why human never learn to give up,

what is the point of holding something not belong to,

i'm trying to figure out the answer,

just i'm not sure did it working or not..

I'm told that you will give up to me,

it's too difficult to make a stone become water,

i'm feel sorry to disturbing you,

i'm just the person always alone,

i'm not sure why i'm still holding my fist,

but i'm trying to open my hand,

and let the unknown gone..

I'm need more time to do that,

as you know,

this just after a week,

maybe i'm not the hero whose can face the disaster,

but i'm will try to protect what i'm has to..

I'm feel thank giving of you accompany,

when i'm feel lost,

when i'm feel sad, 

and when i'm dunno how to do..

Something i'm need to let you know is,

why i'm will care about your feel if you're not the one i'm care about?

28th October 2013,

the Day never End..

By Kenny Yht..

无

我想要什么，
为了什么，
顾虑了太多，
对太多事保持抗拒，
不太正常，
心情奇差，
无理的焦虑，
恐惧着不明，
失去了意义，
悲哀的思考，
一切都只有无答案的疑问。

疯子里的世界永远没真，
彻底的崩溃，
失去人类应有的热情，
感觉太累了，
无法好好的睡眠，
无法好好的生活，
顾虑把我打败，
从此失去自我，
在浩荡的宇宙中漂浮，
寻找思考的总结处。

思考是上天的恩赐，
也同是人类的悲哀。

Day Six - Waiting, the Anxiety

Anxiety,
is a feeling of fear,
worry and uneasiness,
they will fear alone,
worry something important to them has been taken,
at the end,
they will feel unaesiness in every moment..
i'm afraid i'm get the Anxiety..

Waiting,
i'm always do that from last time,
waiting of your visit,
waiting of your reply,
or waiting of your care..
That is suffer to the person whose waiting,
because there may can't get any respond..
The ppl whose was waiting,
they will leave alot reason,
to support they keep doing the silly thing..

Everytimes i'm was waiting,
i'm will give myself alot of reason,
you may busy,
you may doing something,
to let myself can keep waiting,
but when i'm figure out that,
actually you're never care about,
there maybe because you're just put away the phone,
and forgot the is someone else waiting..

I'm dare not to finding you,
there because afraid to find out actually,
you're never care about that,
for you maybe there just a small case,
because the person whose waiting,
are totally nothing to you..
But for the person that was suffer,
they will keep thinking what you doing,
they will lying themself,
after they did that again and again,
and there will be anxiety..

I'm afraid the happiness is no longer with me,
smiling is simple for a child,
but when you're grow up,
you will notice that,
not easy to smile with hapiness..
That is the end,
i'm afraid that will made me lost my mind..
Suffering and suffering,
there is no longer a human be..

26th October 2013,
Day of alone,
By Kenny Yht..

Lost.. Everything..

Lost everything,
for someone that has nothing,
is just not a big deal..
I'm lost all i'm had,
my friend.
thx Q for the day of your acompany,
i'm know that bring you trouble,
i'm sry for made u mad of me..
Maybe you're right,
is too hard to break a stone to half..

I'm was care too much how ppl think abt me,
i'm never tought that is hurting myself,
i'm afraid bring trouble to ppl,
but also afraid alone,
i'm lost when i'm feel hopeless,
can't find a sharing ear,
i'm hide all the secret until the end,
all i'm did just bring me more suffer..
I'm feeling lonely,
so that's why i'm need talk with you..

I'm duno what i'm can do,
u teaching me don't care how ppl think,
just thinking how i'm wanna to do,
I'm not sure what is the right part,
i'm just hope in the future,
i'm was not alone to handle that,
because i'm really dunno how to handle that..
You gave me the way to get up,
i'm will try all my best,
i'm hope you're right,
because i'm really not wanna to be who i am right now..

26th October 2013,
By the Madness Yht..

Day Five - the Hope

Last nite is weird,
after wake up and i'm was miss you so much,
but after the noon,
all the feeling was gone,
is gone,
i guess maybe you never miss about me..
I'm was not feel sad about that,
because i'm nothing to you,
i'm feel release,
from the darkness..

There is a friend i'm has to thank you,
everytime when i'm down,
you will be there,
to cheer me up,
if not you stand beside of me,
i'm can't survive,
can't even pass the suffering..
I'm could sleep right now,
better then last time,
i'm was dreaming last night,
i'm sure you're no longer stay inside the dream..

This a begin,
i'm feel better,
i'm hope you're never come back to me,
there is wonderful,
i'm beg to god,
please don't take over my feeling right now,
i'm was feeling better =)

25th October 2013,
By Kenny Yht

Day Four - Everything was Fall

Sigh,
last nite was a failure day,
i'm tot after that,
today will be a all new day,
but that only more worst,
i'm be afraid,
be afraid will miss you more in future..

I'm can't focus to everything,
i'm tot can find someone to replace you,
all i'm did is useless,
you still stay on my mind..
What if we never know each other,
what if we never close like that,
will we happy more then right now?
That's never got answer,
we can't change the past..

From that day i'm lie to myself,
said everything will be fine,
i'm falling into the darkness..
If crying can kick off the sadness,
i'm hope to,
but i'm cant even cry,
i'm duno how to explain the feeling,
there just got something stuck on mind,
no matter how hard you want to get it out,
but it still there,
they yelling to you,
they keep remind her to you,
am i gonna crazy?

There is only day four,
how is the future?
If love someone is suffer,
then loving by someone should be hapiness,
i'm hope i'm the one whose loving you,
and you're the one whose loving by him..
Everything will be fine,
you're the angel,
i'm hope the smile carry on your face always..
That is enought to me,
i'm just the one whose stand a far,
and happy because of your smiling..

24th October 2013,
Failure Day,
by Kenny Yht..

Day Three - The Begin

Time: 01:30 A.M.  Date: 23th October, 2013

Time for right now,
should be rely on bed,
but i couldn't sleep again..
Mind was non-stop working,
even if i'm trying to stop,
but it's still functionary..

That is a most magical system of human body,
it's came to you when you're on the 'Down' mode..
The unhappy memories is run out one by one,
they enjoyable on you suffering,
they see what you're not wanna to remind it,
and they're laughing..
Weird huh, so they're..

Last night was a failed day,
you came out again and again,
i'm telling myself more then thousand time,
'Forget everything, you must to',
but that is still not working..
The time was moving,
Tick Tok Tick..
But i'm still standing in the zero point,
no matter how many times i'm was telling that to move on,
but i'm still here,
it's the beginning is most harder part?
What if the second step?

People tell me that,
sometimes you're holding it hard,
just will let you miss something better,
try to let go..
Said it,
always easy then doing,
if i could,
i'm done that 4 years ago..
It's i'm cant do that,
or i'm not wish to do that,
i'm not sure,
Just let the time help me make a choose..

Wish today really is a begin,
and the future will that also,
thank you the friend whose accompany me tonight,
without you,
i'm think can't pass last night..
Thank you for understanding my suffer,
wish you have a sweet life..

Good Night,
For you and her..

Time: 01:50 A.M. of Today..

Day Two - End of the day

A worst day of today,
since shock from the midnight,
never could sleep,
the sleep without sleeping,
what kind of feel is that..

What exactly i'm doing?
Even know that you never read the blog,
why still write so many meanless thing,
sigh,
sometimes,
hope is the only way for the man without a direction..
What i'm gonna do,
that's what i'm don't know,
i'm trying step away from you?

I'm surely failed if really that,
everyday trying don't notice your newsfeed,
but still can't hold myself to read it..
I'm just a liar,
trying to lie myself you are not important to me,
the true is.
you are important then i'm tot..
The life without you just like,
the car without the wheel but still foward,
the ship lost the direction in the sea..

Today was failed day,
the day without soul again,
mind full of you,
i'm just the one whos pretend you are not here,
also is the biggest liar in the world..
I'm still miss you,
all the time..
Sadly of the day..

22th Octorber, 2013
By Kenny Yht..

Day Two - Unforgettern But Has To

Boo,
Hey Dummy,
Yo What's up,
You cari mati huh did you?,
You too long time dint get hentam?,
... ...
Alot of that, 
for you maybe just a normal word,
for me every single word has gave me happiness,
there is never happen in my eye again..

Sometimes forced yourself to forget something,
it's joking,
it's harder then my imagination,
i'm tot today won't think any about you,
i'm tot that was sucessfull,
but when i'm close my eye and get into sleep,
you has apear to my dream again and again..

I'm was asking myself for that,
you are the innocent one,
why i'm has to hurt you with that,
did i'm wrong..?
What suppose i'm has to do with the right move..?
Sometimes you not hoping to hurt someone,
but actually you did that,
even if you are didn't mean that,
but you are doing that..

Told you dissapear for a short time,
maybe is a joke,
when the day i'm knew about you are,
you are really love him more then i'm tot,
it's same time i'm feel more sadly,
every second the time was passing,
i'm was can't stop falling the tears..

I'm asking GOD,
why you wan't torture me like that,
my friend told me all you did,
it's what you exactly you want,
don't blame the GOD..
It's true?
All about this not a joke by Fate?

Crying,
Falling,
Suffering,
It's still has the Love to me?
What is Love exactly?
For that,
I'm just earn that,
suffering every moment,
Falling into deeply of black hole,
Crying in every single moment..

Can i'm still loving?
I Don't Know,
The heart is gone..

22th October 2013,
By Heartless Stone..

Day One - Forget Everything

I'm loving someone..

I'm tot i'm was,

thx the fren whos slap me wake up,

What i'm trying to do is wrong,

i'm figure out it too late,

so do i'm know it but hurting alot ppl..

Actually i'm turning into death end,

i'm know that but cant turn out,

what i'm wanna in this..?

Fren was telling me that,

what if she do that,
will you happy?

I'm should know that early,

just trying to lying myself..

I'm think we should stop this,

need sometimes to forgot,

forgot everything we do before..

Thx the fren borrow the shoulder to me,

when im sad,

when im feel helpless,

you cheer me up,
thx to teaching me need to protect myself if feel hurting,
no one will love myself beside me,
it's time to learn how to live for self,
not live for other person,

i'm thinking that time will help me forgot about you..

If i'm did that will let you know,
so please forgive my selffish..

I'm trying to protect myself,

but sacrifire you trust,
I'm sorry..

知道后第三天

原以为妳昨天不会找我，
当妳卟我时，
感觉还挺开心的，
期待今天妳的造访。

昨天妳告诉我你爷爷跌倒，
别那么担心，
一切都会好起来的，
只要我们一起祈祷。

你昨天突然说要问我一个尴尬的问题，
后来又说没事，
真的给妳气炸了，
一直想什么问题，
但是知道就算怎样追问，
你还是会说没事没事，
笨蛋啊妳=)

一直好想约妳一起吃饭，
但是还是觉得现在该给妳空间，
期待着未来能带妳去吃吃饭，
看下电影之类的，
不知道几时才能实现。

对了，
我做了一件肯定会被妳骂的事情，
因为这几天一起无法摆脱妳的身影，
所以我跟朋友去喝到烂醉，
自从那次都没喝过那么醉，
都是妳害我的咯=)

好啦，
期待今天妳还是会找我，
就算那么一刻，
也值得我开心一整天了，
我觉得应该是爱上妳了吧，
妳这笨蛋=)

知道后第二天

表白后第二天，
感觉和妳的距离又拉远了，
其实我们都知道，
我们在欺骗着自己，
我们之间发生了些什么。

我知道妳不想失去我这个好朋友，
我也知道自己不只想成为妳的好朋友，
所以我们就假装着没事发生。

其实我们这样对吗？
我明知道我会很痛苦，
但是却舍不得离你而去，
是我太傻太固执了吧。

知道其实我们根本不可能，
但是却一次又一次欺骗自己，
朋友都说我转进牛角尖，
但是我也无法控制。

看你回我的那种笑容，
我就知道，
我们都在欺骗着对方，
我们在戴着一具假面具，
企图欺骗对方我们还是一样。

我不知道这样的关系我还能忍受多久，
如果真的无法在这种情形继续下去，
希望妳原谅我的自私。
Good Nited, dumb2 Sarah =)

知道后的第一天

在朋友的怂恿下，
终于对妳说出了那么多年对妳的感觉。
虽然知道答案肯定不会是自己心里想要的答案，
但是却冲动的向妳索取，
明知道会伤害到妳和我的友谊，
却控制不了自己那样做。

没办法好好的睡眠，
没办法好好的进食，
满脑子充满了妳的身影，
但是却不敢也不能找妳。

一面充满希望等你来信，
一面却告诉自己妳和我是两个世界的人，
不可能会有机会的。

以为告诉妳后心中会比较好过，
却原来比瞒在心中更难受。
因为知道自己不能像以前那样，
欺骗着自己的去讨好妳，
却原来在自欺欺人。

完全不知道该怎么办！
心情复杂无常，
一时告诉自己要疏远妳，
一时又想不能这样对待妳。
我猜妳也不可能会来这看我写什么，
就算来看也看不懂。

只是想告诉妳，
原来我低估了对妳的感觉，
被逼上死角的是我，
而不是妳，
只有她和妳，
才能让我觉得迷茫无助，
将来可以的话，
还真的希望妳会和我以前那样，
无忧无虑的开心生活。

The letter i hope you never read because i'm hide something

Hi there,

I too suffer about this,
i'm think if i'm don't write it down,
i'm will getting crazy about it.
Sarah,
what i'm wanna to tell you is,
i'm think i'm got some weird feeling on you.
Do you remember that,
when you tell me gonna to start a relationship,
my heart was pain when i'm knew it.

Hidden msg: If you finally figure out why i'm din't update blog anymore, just because i'm don't hope to made our friendship broke, that is the only thing we left, i don't hope we can't even be friend.. I'm feel sad and sorry to made this decision, Sigh..

I'm not better then him that i'm was know,
I'm may can't give you what he did,
I'm may can't give you what he have,
But i'm will try to do better and better.

I'm not sure you know about i'm always telling you that "second chance",
actually the deeply meaning is,
i'm quite hoping that i'm got the second chance to ask you be my girl-friend.
Maybe it's too late right now,
but i'm still hoping to trying to get the chance,
i'm was wasted too much chance to tell you,
because i'm worry what if you know it and can't accepted.
I don't want to make you suffer,
that why i'm keeping this secret and waiting the better timing.
You tell me that before,
said about your best friend trying to court on you.
I'm know you feeling at that moment,
i'm knew you was hard feeling to do the decision.

You know when u find me,
i'm was happy,
i'm feeling lucky at that moment,
even i'm know that is just a short time u will stay contact with me,
but i'm still feeling happy that.
But when you disapear without any notice,
you know what i'm feeling that time?
I'm feel that i'm just like a abandon puppy.
This few day i'm feel happy,
in the same time i'm also feel scare,
i'm worry about when you will drop me alone again without any notice.

I'm feel lonely,
i'm don't know what i'm suppose to do.
I'm worry that i'm will hurting you,
so i'm choose to hurting myself.
I'm hope this letter can read by you with accidently,
when you read that,
please, with my begging,
just give me an answer.

Sarah, i'm got weird feeling on you.
I'm not sure is love you or like you,
just if got a day,
if i'm surely figure out,
I'm hope is still not too late to telling you,
Sarah, dumb2, i'm think, I Love You.

The letter i'm hoping you will read in future,
By Kenny, Sei Lord. 16th October 2013.

星

特别喜欢夜深的时候，

面临一种很奇怪的宁静，
不知道有人喜欢观看天空吗，
但是我却喜欢的，
在宁静的夜深观看着夜空，
真确来说，
比较想看到的是星空。

不知从何时开始，
夜空不再向我展示星空，
非常怀念着小时候的一次星空之旅，
美好的时光总是短暂的，
但是美好带来的震撼却是永恒的。

这几年，
尝试去回味那段震撼的美好，
但是却事与愿违，
只能在记忆中慢慢的寻找着，
模糊的画面，
就像在观看一部不完整的电影般，
有些美好的，
也有些遗憾的。

科技虽然发达，
却让人类失去大自然的美好，
人类其实是美好，
还是破坏的化身，
无法追查，
人类自比万物之灵，
但是在人性方面却不比一只畜生，
到底身为人类，
是荣誉还是悲哀？