不开心.. Sadness..

凌晨三点钟，
刚送了朋友回家，
就感觉非常的空虚，
朋友说我今天很幽默，
其实是我装的好，
隐藏的面具，
是我最后的防线，
没有了它，
背后就是寂寞与悲伤。
Midnight three o'clock,
just sent my friend to home,
suddenly feel very lonely,
friend said i'm very funny today,
actually is i'm hiding with good,
the mask of hiding,
is my last defend line,
without it,
behind of mask is lonely and sadness..

打算找朋友一起庆祝圣诞，
原来他们都有节目了，
不好意思去加入，
反正就自己过吧，
都过了那么多年，
不在乎多这一次吧。
Plan to find friend celebrate together when X'mas,
but they have their own show,
not feel good to join with suddenly,
just passed that day alone bah,
so many year,
no need to care add one more time bahh..

今天突然想起，
我以为告诉妳一切，
会有改变，
之后妳的回答，
让我觉得原来是我错了，
一直都是，
那时的感觉今天突然又经历，
还是一样觉得很疲累，
让我真的不敢去爱了。
以前一直幻想一个爱我的人，
会一直陪在我身边，
原来一切都只是幻想，
什么是爱呢？
爱是当甜蜜过去，
留下痛苦时，
才明白原来爱，
是痛苦的。
Something appear to mind suddenly,
that time i'm said thought tell you everything,
will have some change,
after that your answer,
let me knew that was my big mistake,
always is that,
that feel i'm felt again today,
it's still feel very tired after that feeling come,
made people dare not love anymore..
Last time always imaging that someone is love me,
always stay beside me,
actually imagination just is imagination and never be true,
what is love?
Love is after the sweet,
the moment only left pain behind,
that the time will notice actually love was,
very suffer..

不管我能写什么，
想什么，
都不能改变一切，
在所有人面前我已经不是我，
只有在这里，
我才能做回一个，
喜欢哭泣的小孩，
不管我装的多好，
只要妳用心去感觉，
就会发现其实我只是小孩，
不管如何装大人，
都只是一个伪装大人的小孩..
No matter what i'm wrote,
what i'm thinking,
that can't change anything,
infront people i'm no longer be self,
only in here,
i'm can be the one who i am,
the child like crying,
no matter how great i'm acting,
if you feel with heart,
you will notice actually i'm just a child,
no matter how success i'm pretend a adult,
just is the adult acting by a child..

是的想妳了，
心中的不开心，
没有人愿意听，
只好胡思乱想，
写一些有的没的，
让妳或不认识的人看，
这世界上有这么一位傻子，
在干着一些无聊的事情，
不但骚扰着人，
还自欺欺人的以为，
他是全世界最不开心的人。
Yea i'm miss you,
all the bad feel on heart,
no one wish to listening,
only can think wrong by brain,
wrote something good or bad,
let you and the world see it,
this world still left one idiot behind,
doing something really no meaning,
not only disturbing some one,
some more trying lie to self,
he the only one unhappy in the world..

Unhappy but can't tell people,
keep that until the heart broke,
what is the feel of heart without jumping?
That will a second you can't breath,
Good Nited and sweet dream..
To you..
Take care..

Midnight 04:11,
Page 35,
by Kenny Yht..